so i got closer this year. i missed region by 2 chairs. two little chairs. which means, if the two people in front of me mysteriously die, then i will be in. *makes note to kill at least 2 cello gods* but i wont kill anyone. and out of 9 people from our school that tried out, only one made it. but anyway, my story.
i hate being last. i love being first. and what number did i end up with? 52. out of 52. fifty stinkin two. which is really not a bunch of people. all the HSPVA (high school for the performing and visual arts) kiddos scared em off. and i dont blame them. but thi meant that i would have to listen to all those people in front of me and try to no be intimidated. so the auditions started. number 1 goes up there. this little bitty korean guy. HSPVA of course. and he completely BLEW the thing out of the water. like completely awesome. i actually fell out of my chair. and during all this, my friend and i (korean-no duh. she's a cello goddess) are passing note back and forth. and she is friends with this guy. and do you know what she told me? he was accepted into julliard as a sophmore. JULLIARD. AS A SOPHMORE. aaaaah. i felt completely inadequate. not to mention a little more that mildly intimidated.
"52". i go up there, ready to be julliard material, and i freak. not sure why. i just do. but it was a weird freak. i stayed in rhythm and tempo, but i forgot some of the notes, so i made them up. (this was only the first cut.) but after the first part i did pretty good and ended up on the right note. and it sounded nice. but i was pretty much over with. and i knew it.
next cut. we start at the middle this time, which means i am in the second group to go up there. and i was nervous. i was kinda really depending on this. ...lots of people, then 52. me. i am shaking like a wet dog in the winter. i go up, and i start playing. and its good. actually more or less amazing. and i was so relieved that i was doing so awesome that 2 lines before the end, a part i had never had any trouble with, i skipped a line. and i went back. and got lost. and completely made a blundering fool of myself. but yet again i ended onthe right note. so thats a plus. but i still didnt make it. but its cool. i have a lot going on right now anyway. and the concert is on my birthday, so it would mean that i couldnt do anything for my sweet 16. oh well.
and my korean friend made 7th chair, top orchestra. but she hates cello and never makes an effort. she pretty much went up there and sightread the music. but since she is a senior, this is her last year to play since she hates it and s oing to pharmacy school. imagine if she only made an effort. wow.
so anyway, that is pretty much it. solo and ensemble, our next big ting, is in january, but i already have my solo memorized. and the top 3 or 4 cellos are doing a cello trio or quartet. so that is when i will definitely post here again. but i will before that. and if i figure out how to record myself playing and put it on here i will.
good riddance! and thanks for all your support!
sarah and the lovely sadie
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4 comments:
Sarah, I would absolutely love to hear you play. Wow ... you were up against some pretty big competition in this audition. I'm sorry to hear that it didn't turn out as you'd hoped. But take pride in the fact that you are on the same level of musicianship as these gifted students since you have the talent (and courage) to be competing alongside them. I do hope that you'll continue posting here because so many of us enjoy reading about your enthusiasm and love for the cello.
I used to be the same way, with nerves and being a little upset when I was at the end of the pack. But any position is advantageous, if you know how to work it. At the end, people will be cranky, and will have listened to so many technically perfect robot geniuses that anyone with a spring in their step will be refreshing and will finish their day off in a better mood. I know for a fact that these people look for a teachable attitude just as much as playing ability.
The other thing to remember is that working on nerves and never feeling intimidated is something to practice. Most serious cellists sound great a lot of the time when they practice their favorite piece home, alone. It is just another aspect of technique to be able to deliver under pressure, because in the end, that's our job: to do something very difficult, in a pressure-laden environment, as close to perfect *every time*. So practice playing when you are uneasy. Maybe donate some time to an old folks' home and play through your rep for them. Or play for the kindergarteners at your old school to get them excited about music. Plenty of nerves to work through in those situations.
Go in with an attitude that is quiet and optimistic, and don't think about 5 minutes from now...just stay present, and run your stuff a few times, and put it down. You've worked very hard, but 40 extra minutes of warming up is only going to make your hand tired and your interpretation a little flat. Save it and trust yourself.
Sarah sorry u didnt make it =[....
im sorry.....but surpirised at the same time........[and redd is sad about it too] yea.............um lets see........you probably have read this on myspace......but yea i got first.....of coure it is just middle school =] and i dont think that there are as many people. =]......im still in like shock about it.......i beat the prodigy 8th grader of amarillo =]
yea well at lest you tried =]
love k@ and ReddRumm
I tagged you with the "7 things" blog... see my blog for details!
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